I love you. I have never laughed so hard in my life XD. Hehe, dawww. I'm sending you the bill for the hernia... That is so sad....in a sort of funny way!I'm just so glad she has you instead of some creep who would try to beat sense into her.Great post! Hyperbole and A Half is a blog and webcomic written by a 20-something American girl called Allie Brosh. For 6 hours. We want one for each of our classrooms. ("Here, Refrigerator!") I'm glad I was home alone while reading this because I sounded like I was sobbing I was laughing so hard! My husband and I were griping about our puppy's insistence on being melodramatic every time we walk out of the room, and this was posted in the middle of that conversation................This has helped us regain some sanity. Also, is this dog drawn in proportion? He'll run up to you, nearly push you over, then stare at you with happy googly eyes going "MAH NAME IS LEROY AND I LOVE YOU~ <3 <3 <3" He's a dumb as a box of rocks but is wonderful just the same! (Really.) Retarded dogs are still cuddly :). Has she accepted that you weren't actually escorting her to death's door? She also looks very similar to your dog (drawing)... except more Dobie-colored. So maybe she's just an exceptionally smart pooch and shuns all that normal dog stuff to be her 'special' self. Please continue to grace us with your fantastic sense of humor.I.M. Love your story. we solved this by getting her some liquid valium. ")"I find this to be a lovely description -- because regardless of intelligence or lack thereof, you can never deny the power of a dog's love and loyalty.Thanks for the great post! I realized she was doing this because she was hot and licking the relatively cold floor cooled her down. PS - This post is totally a fighter jet! loved it as usual, your dogs are so much fun! She spent the entire car ride drooling and shaking uncontrollably. I was reminded that this blog post existed and thought it would be fun to share it again. My dog does the "offer fifteen behaviors in the hope that one of them is what you want" thing. Her name was Flash, and she would answer to anything that sounded remotely like Flash. hehe. It's seems that each leg has a different idea of what they should be doing: sitting, running, laying, whatever. OH MY GOSH! He's about half the size he's supposed to be. My one-eyed neurotic black lab mix has been so worked up because he knows something is different besides daddy being gone. You are absolutely a compassionate dog owner!!! Every time we put a blanket on our girl, she lies down because THAT'S WHAT YOU DO WHEN YOU ARE UNDER A BLANKET. He'll gallop like an idiot all around until he runs into parked cars or the side of the barn. Hmmm... Is it warm in your house? i've never laughed that much in my life. I have three cats, as I've never thought I'd be patient enough to train a dog. #1 New York Times Bestseller “Funny and smart as hell” (Bill Gates), Allie Brosh’s Hyperbole and a Half showcases her unique voice, leaping wit, and her ability to capture complex emotions with deceptively simple illustrations.FROM THE PUBLISHER: Every time Allie Brosh posts something new on her hugely popular blog Hyperbole and a Half the internet rejoices. I feel your pain :/, Aww poor little gal! I think my dog has a mental switch for his retardedness. :( Google "clicker training" and "free shaping" to learn about how to encourage her to think for herself more. Probably totally our fault, seeing as he loves the attention. My co-workers now think I'm a giggling idiot.BTW- I think Dog is just trying to please you. If your dogs start to freak out again you might try that. When we finally arrived at our new house, the dogs had calmed down considerably. Well, hey, just think of the money you'll save on college! at least your dog tries. Your blog is great, I personally believe that your "Cake vs. Pie" entry should be archived in the Library of Congress so that it may be used as a citable reference. I had to read one sentence at a time, break into hysterical fits of laughter, try at least three times to keep my eyes open, then read another sentence.If I could marry your blog I would do it. Instead, I've been trying to teach her how to go get her toys when I say, "Go get it!" This odd behavior continued and we were at a loss to figure out the cause...until one day, it happened. I love it! Come look! Happy Puppy Happy Dogs Hyperbole And A Half Funny Skeleton Are You Not Entertained All The Things Meme Dog Signs Dog Quotes Laughing So Hard … Oh! My sis has one and I'm sure the dog thinks he's been abandoned every time he's alone in the yard, no matter if he hears the noises of my nephews coming from inside the house. But damn it, I was not going to let my poor, retarded dog feel like she failed. My husband and I are building a house with our own hands in another state, he is living up there working while I'm back home with the dogs (we have 6). I can only imagine their confusion and distress. "Well done. Dude. As usual. Enjoy your dumb dog!My French Bulldog said to be sure I told you HE was a genius. It wasn't until we stopped for the night in Umatilla that the simple dog became aware that there was any reason for her to feel anxious. Great post. Poor doggie dog. The other is Bellamy and he is Zoë's helper dog. Hyperbole and a Half is not really a web comic, but it isn't really a blog either. ("Quizzical dog" is the term my friends use for their dog when he doesn't seem to understand anything and turns his head to the side to look at you. That was amazing and so worth the wait. This is the first "new post" I've seen since I started watching your blog (which was like last week) so I'm super excited!I was swimming in my pool once with a snorkel on, and when my poor mutt dog saw that I wasn't coming up for air, he started barking hysterically and finally resorted to jumping into the pool to save me. I'll have to try some of these on my dogs... although one is a chihuahua so I think his chances of passing are already very low. Despite our best efforts, they continued to drift around in a sea of confusion and terror, pausing only to look pitiful. The carpet licking could be a sign of an upset tummy. T! Great pictures. I am afraid she would not pass the test either. We have one and I have recently begun to have the same doubts about her intelligence (or lack of). Rather, she was walking around the room licking seemingly at random. So each time I read "helper dog" I inserted "kid" and each time I read "Simple dog" I inserted "neurotic cat. This made me laugh so. )My dog once jumped off a five foot high porch and pulled a muscle just to impress me so your dog is not alone. This is completely brilliant, love it. We had a terrible time with my dog when I was growing up, because it turned out that he was deaf. :). However, she's definitely not a purebred, so it's totally possible. one of my dogs would pass this test even though she is definitely retarded. The wall, the floor, your arm, a bookshelf, a chair, his own leg, etc. That's just gross. "NO, ME LOUDER!" Slash. My husband and I just got a very goofy puppy, so I was laughing out loud at your story and pics. Oh Allie! !My second theory is that the test was not testing your dog's ability. We tried everything from spooning her to locking her in the bathroom, but none of it was even the slightest bit effective. That's a sure sign. thanks! OMG I am crying from laughing so hard at this!!! Did you and Boyfriend take turns? This is hysterical. I'm so excited!! Unfortunately for the helper dog, it took us nearly a week to get everything packed up. Who doesn't love Simple Dog? <3. We needed that. Fully illustrated with over 50% new material. Its much better to be the wonderful Mommy who can solve anything! my dog arrived severely damaged by the drug lords who owned him before i did, but this book was REALLY helpful to get him to learn basic commands like "sit", "stay", etc. The logic behind her sudden change in outlook was unclear. Neither dog is well-equipped with coping mechanisms of any kind. The plan is to stick 4 of them in the back of the Suburban and the other two will go in the car with me. For living in a state that is constantly wet (except during August) you'd think that we would be okay with the concept of a colder, solid version of our "liquid sunshine". I'm using "The God of Cake" as my entry for this year's Edible Book Contest. Everything. None of them is the brightest bulb of the Christmas tree, but the younger one is unbelievable stupid. Either way it's a win. Why?I'm going to have a seizure while trying to hold in my laughter. If she's even reasonably housebroken (i.e. So awesome. You are talking to a DOG!!! You really have a gift! This post made me laugh a lot. (He died of old age - nothing calamitous) I hope you and your new dummy have lots of happy years together too. OMg, you totally have to take video of the dogs in their shoes. Positive feedback loop? SOUNDS. Brosh has also expanded the comic into a series of … You are fantastic.<3. Join Facebook to connect with Hyperbole and a Half and others you may know. I wonder if there are any intelligence tests for cats. The dog is still noisy. The squeaky toy noise, or the "Pity me, I am Simple Dog, I am DYING" noise? This post is so funny. sad, but adorable.also i feel a sort of kinship with you in ownership of something retarded. Sometimes he runs into stuff too, which is only adds to the hilarity. Hey, the dog may be dumb, but she sounds like a sweetie.Do you think dogs have blogs of their own? I have no idea why. Seriously. They capture that "?????" Nov 7, 2013 - A lingering fear of mine was confirmed last night: My dog might be slightly retarded. I would say D! Head down to the hilarity next town over a couple of hyperbole and a half dog.. In lava is easier if you ask me you!!!! a small.! To easily nagivate anything higher than four centimeters spends with you old puppy when we adopted ;. Very lucky to have a heater that warms the whole house.-BobRoberts01 because they are all...! 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